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hree blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"The blondes all nodded.The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," He said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or Outstanding about this man?""Yes! He only has one ear!"The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but...." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or Unusual about this man?"The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Hellooooooooooooo! With only One eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

Graham Weeks ● 4244d0 Comments ● 4244d

Kuznia Smaku restaurant, a review following an unexpecrted visit.

Last Thursday night I had a sublime experience at the Kuznia Smaka Restaurant on the South Ealing Road. On an off-chance in rather too-grubby clothing from the garden I decided that I needed a civilized meal out. The South Ealing area does not have the gastronomic quality that it used to. Usually I limit myself to the Zayka Indian restaurant where I have experienced over twenty years of invariably excellent food and friendly and tolerant service. Last night I wanted something a little more rarefied and not-quite-as-exciting. Eating in the Kuznia Smaku was just like dinner at home when I was child (from my name you will have realized that although I am a born Englishman, I have Polish roots from my Polish parents who fought in the Allied Eighth Army North Africa and Italy during the Second World War (after being imprisoned by the Russians in the Lubjanka and in Siberia itself, etc., etc.)). It was re-assuring to discover that the quality avant-garde Polish cuisine that as available at the Kuznia Smaka indicates that Polish haute-cuisine has retained its integrity over the past thirty or forty years. The meal that I had consisted of (in English translation): a soup as a starter consisting of a clear broth/consomme with vermicelli, for the main course I had a chicken-loin-strip fritter (which is about the highest quality of chicken that you can obtain) with side dishes of new potatoes with dill and a cucumber/yogurt cucumber salad which is known “mizeria”. For desert I had a portion of Polsih cheesecake. With the meal I had two pints of Polish “Lech” beer a cup of white coffee and a glass of tap water (for my effervescent Vitamin C and Zinc tablet). This meal cost me £32.50. The last time that I had encountered the chicken-loin-strip-fritter in this form was in the dining room of the Hotel Warszawa in Warsaw in the 1970s. If memory serves the quality achieved by the Kuznia Smaka last night is the same as the Hotel Warszawa in its Communist heyday in the 1970s, and slightly better than how my late Mother made it. Mark Laskowski.

Mark Laskowski ● 4254d5 Comments ● 4245d